OK, What Tha--

I recently ran across two of the creepiest products that I have seen in a while, and I couldn't resist posting them. If you're an attachment parent, prepare to have your skin crawl.

First up, the "Zaky," (I saw this on the Birth With Confidence blog) which is described thusly on the site that sells it:

If you’ve ever wished for a “hand” to leave behind so that your baby would feel as if you’ve never left the room, your prayers have been answered with the Zaky.
The Zaky is an ergonomic infant pillow designed by a mom to mimic the size, weight, touch, and feel of her hand and forearm to help her baby with comfort, support, protection, and development. The Zaky can help calm your baby and help your baby sleep better through the night...Your baby will feel reassured as if you’re touching him, which assists in his need of feeling protected. The size and weight of the Zaky simulates the hand of a mother, so you feel as if you’re leaving one hand with your baby – and your baby feels as if you’re still there touching him...If you haven’t given birth yet, the Zaky is great to bring to the hospital when your baby is born. Scent it with your own scent beforehand to help your baby when he/she is in the bassinet next to you or give it to the nurse when your baby is taken to the hospital’s nursery. This way you give your baby “your hand” with your scent, and the nurse can use it to support and position your baby. Also, because your baby smells and feels something constant from birth, the Zaky helps the transition to going home.

Next, we have a charming little device, called the Time Out Pad (as seen on Ohdeedoh):
Here's how the makers describe the way it works its discipline magic:

Simply set the built-in timer to the desired time-out duration (usually one minute per year of the child's age) and sit the child on the pressure sensitive pad.

If the child gets up before the end of the programmed time, an alarm sounds to alert the parent or carer, and the countdown will pause until the child sits back down.

Once the full time-out countdown has elapsed, the finish tune is played to let everyone know that the session has ended. The child should then apologise and be rewarded with a big hug!

And from the official website, a few gag-inducing, glowing testimonials from parents who found the device helpful:

"Fantastic! This product really has stopped my little boy being a little monster!"

“This is a useful disciplinary tool as it does show the child where they have to be and how long they have to wait. 5 minutes can seem forever if they do not know how long they have already been sitting down. If you ask a child to be quiet for 5 minutes it is an almost impossible task for many.

"This also means that you can leave the child and know if they will get up for those parents who cannot spend their entire time watching the child and telling them to stay still and for the rebellious children as knowing exactly where they have to sit and having a timer can help them know their boundaries."

“We've had the Time Out Pad for a few weeks now, and have had such good success with it, our son rarely goes on it any more - just threatening sitting on it usually defuses the situation, rather than him having to sit on the naughty step, which he had to do quite often before. We think this is because he HAS to stay on the pad, and it makes it more of a discipline thing than just staying on the step to calm down. It also means you can leave the room safely, which means he cannot argue or beg with you, missing out on the point of the exercise."